Player profiles

The Big Cheeses


Steve Clancey CHAIRMAN Position: midfield Interests: flea circus technology, Swedish trees and knitting.	Steve Neal FIXTURE SECRETARY Position: goalkeeper Interests: nuts, bolts and American Indian fish farming culture	Andy Jennings SOCIAL SECRETARY Position: prone Interests: the history of marmalade and Indian tapestry

Tim Glynne-Jones 1ST XI CAPTAIN Position: defence Interests: medieval kitchen appliances and Zen fence design	Tom Smith 1ST XI NUMPTY Position: forward Interests: ladybird categorisation and 20th Century hand pump design	Jimmy Creasey 2ND XI CAPTAIN Position: midfield Interests: High-wire jazz dancing and collecting flesh-eating plants

Steve Clancey 3RD XI CAPTAIN Position: copper Interests: flea circus technology, Swedish trees and knitting.	Ian Nuttall 4TH XI CAPTAIN Position: defence Interests: fresh water crab breeding and pencil sharpeners	Jamie Ward MISSING IN ACTION Position: defence Have you seen this man? Interests: scuba diving and evening entertainment Thai-style
Les petits fromages

Kevin Canavan Position: midfield Interests: Testing the elastic properties of cheese and pro mini golf	Miles Gaudoin Position: utility Interests: making jams and preserves and prosthetics	Matt Loftus Position: copper Interests: truncheon juggling and the speeches of Glenys Kinnock

John Hallowes Position: at heel Interests: cuttlery and the history of the telephone	Martin Hubbard Position: midfield Interests: Royal watching and test match tiddlywinks	Thaddius Kubiak Position: defence Interests: Mule taunting, balloon flight and eskimo culture

Kristian Lennard Position: midfield Interests: archery and voyeurism	Neil Southall Position: defence Interests: toxic waste sculpture and marine parachuting	Tim Kelly Position: forward Interests: Ancient Egyptian cheeses and the migration pattern of the goat

Greg Brown Position: midfield Interests: tractor mechanics, astronomy and carrots	Jim Staines Position: goalkeeper Interests: long division and the deforestation of the Amazon basin	Ian Nuttall Position: midfield Interests: piano cleaning, microbiology and arson

Gareth Wells Position: defence Interests: bell ringing, Gregorian chants and the history of the toasted sandwich maker	Wayne Chappell Position: midfield Interests: glass making and the dismantling of the Belgian railway network	Richard Seager Position: forward Interests: pelican farming and darts

Wayne Francis Position: C3PO Interests: mechanical joint replacement, reindeer racing and bridge	Dave Cooney Position: defence Interests: typewriter technology and worm spotting	Ken Wheeler Position: midfield Interests: Angolan drum rhythmns and the protection of oysters

Dean Claydon Position: defence Interests: Polar exploration and recipes for Christmas lunch	Russell Jennings Position: goalkeeper Interests: the history of marmalade and Indian tapestry	Nick Waterton Position: sick note Interests: Ballroom gurning, tent materials and early Samoan duck sacrifice

Steve Russell Position: midfield Interests: limbo dancing and aeronautical catering